Would you survive the zombie apocalypse?

I’ve gotten a good number of replies from you answering if you think you’d survive the zombie apocalypse. Some are certain of their answers. Others, not so much. Let’s make it cut and dry. I’ve created a quiz and this will definitively* tell you if you will survive the zombie apocalypse.

You wake up and find the zombie apocalypse has started. What do you do?

A: Take stock of anything you can use as a weapon, secure your home, and take stock of what food you have and how long it will last.

B: Get a closer to look at a so-called zombie. This can’t be real.

C: Barricade yourself in your home and freak out.

Which of the following weapons would you use to kill zombies?

A: Gun.

B: Knife.

C: Baseball bat.

You’re making your way downtown in hopes of finding supplies. Along the way, you see a group of 4 zombies. They appear to be eating some unlucky sap. How do you get around them?

A: Backtrack and take a different route.

B: Run in with guns blazing and take them out.

C: Throw something that makes noise and causes the zombies to follow it.

Someone you love is now a zombie. How do you react?

A: Shoot them and put them out of their misery. It’s what you’d want if the roles were reversed.

B: Sob.

C: Capture them and put them somewhere secure in hopes of someone finding a cure.

You’ve found a group of survivors, but they don’t trust you’re not infected. How do you gain their trust?

A: Put your hands up and back away to show you are no threat. Leave. It’s not worth trying to reason with them.

B: Strip and show to show that you are not infected, setting all your weapons aside.

C: Insist that you are not infected, motioning to visible skin and lack of blood on your clothing.

RESULTS

  • If you answered mostly A then you’ll survive. You take survival seriously and don’t take unnecessary risks. You’ll either do it alone or find people you trust. You may even end up the leader of the group.

  • If you answered mostly B then you are screwed. You don’t take stock of your surroundings, don’t exercises caution, and think you are invincible. And now you’re a zombie.

  • If you answered mostly C then you have a chance. Sure, the concept of the zombie apocalypse freaked you out, but you’ve calmed down and you’re hoping with enough gumption you’ll make it. If not, you at least plan on taking out as many as you can first.

Before you throw this email in the trash, have you checked out my tour of The Cure’s location? I take you around town and show why it’s a good last stand.

*Patricia Josephine cannot guarantee this test will ensure you survive any zombie apocalypses. Honestly, she should not be taken seriously a good chunk of the time and make it more clear when she is joking.